Cartoonist QuotesRating Mail
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite
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A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away. - Bil Keane
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Mothers are the necessity of invention. - Bill Watterson
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Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. - Kin Hubbard
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Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper. - Kin Hubbard
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Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work. - Al Capp
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A real job is a job you hate. - Bill Watterson
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From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way. - Bill Watterson
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Genius is never understood in its own time. - Bill Watterson
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery. - Bill Watterson
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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson
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Heck, what's a little extortion among friends? - Bill Watterson
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I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations. - Bill Watterson
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I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? - Bill Watterson
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I liked things better when I didn't understand them. - Bill Watterson
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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. - Bill Watterson
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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. - Bill Watterson
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I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple. - Bill Watterson
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If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. - Bill Watterson
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If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. - Bill Watterson
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If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. - Bill Watterson
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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. - Bill Watterson
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It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool. - Bill Watterson
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It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept. - Bill Watterson
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It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves. - Bill Watterson
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I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. - Bill Watterson
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Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. - Bill Watterson
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Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems. - Bill Watterson
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Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. - Bill Watterson
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Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. - Bill Watterson
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Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson
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Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running. - Bill Watterson
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So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it. - Bill Watterson
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson
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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice. - Bill Watterson
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Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience. - Bill Watterson
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That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. - Bill Watterson
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The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. - Bill Watterson
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The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! - Bill Watterson
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson
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The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer. - Bill Watterson
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There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do. - Bill Watterson
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Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. - Bill Watterson
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We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. - Bill Watterson
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We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. - Bill Watterson
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Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. - Bill Watterson
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When birds burp, it must taste like bugs. - Bill Watterson
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Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? - Bill Watterson
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A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're single and your dog is the only other living thing in your house, it's a really special relationship which I wanted CATHY to have. - Cathy Guisewite
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All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we've tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they're probably right. - Cathy Guisewite
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