Woody Allen QuotesRating Mail
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
1
(1 Votes)
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
1
(1 Votes)
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
1
(1 Votes)
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
0
(0 Votes)
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
0
(0 Votes)
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
0
(0 Votes)
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
0
(0 Votes)
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
0
(0 Votes)
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
0
(0 Votes)
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
0
(0 Votes)
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
0
(0 Votes)
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
0
(0 Votes)
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
0
(0 Votes)
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
0
(0 Votes)
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
0
(0 Votes)
I am two with nature.
0
(0 Votes)
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
0
(0 Votes)
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
0
(0 Votes)
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
0
(0 Votes)
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
0
(0 Votes)
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
0
(0 Votes)
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
0
(0 Votes)
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
0
(0 Votes)
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
0
(0 Votes)
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
0
(0 Votes)
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
0
(0 Votes)
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
0
(0 Votes)
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
0
(0 Votes)
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
0
(0 Votes)
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
0
(0 Votes)
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
0
(0 Votes)
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
0
(0 Votes)
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
0
(0 Votes)
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
0
(0 Votes)
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
0
(0 Votes)
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
0
(0 Votes)
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
0
(0 Votes)
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
0
(0 Votes)
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
0
(0 Votes)
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
0
(0 Votes)
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
0
(0 Votes)
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
0
(0 Votes)
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
0
(0 Votes)
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
0
(0 Votes)
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
0
(0 Votes)
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
0
(0 Votes)
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
0
(0 Votes)
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
0
(0 Votes)
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
0
(0 Votes)
Marriage is the death of hope.
0
(0 Votes)


Share


Follow Quotesmin on Twitter
Find Quotesmin on Facebook



Hot Topics
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Inspirational Quotes

Favorite Authors
William Shakespeare Quotes
Winston Churchill Quotes
Martin Luther King Jr Quotes
Mahatma Gandhi Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes



Home Feedback For Advertise
© Quotesmin