Mark Twain QuotesRating Mail
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
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Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
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Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
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Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
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Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
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My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
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Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
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Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
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Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
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The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
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The fear of death follows from the fear of life.A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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The lack of money is the root of all evil.
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The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
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The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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