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Chris Rock QuotesRating Mail
A man is only as faithful as his options.
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A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
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Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
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Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
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Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
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Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
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Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
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George Bush hates midgets.
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Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
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I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
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I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
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If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
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Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
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School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
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Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
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Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
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You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
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